Jonathan by Barbara Samuels

Seeing the sign on the Town Hall -  Closed until 2024 -  I wondered if I would be here to see it ?

I had been unwell, gravely ill if I'm honest and coming so close to the face of the void at least demands honesty! My recovery hadn't been a miracle, but a three year trudge over hostile medical terrain which, at intervals, promised hope of improvement and looming shadows of despair. I was in remission, a point which held no guarantee.  It goaded me with flickers of advice about

'Getting back in there!'

Over this time period my life had crumbled away: firstly kept on hold, interrupted, then gradually reduced to that low place of negativity where expectations evaporated.  My condition defied identification, baffling various consultants who even took a stab at believing I was faking it!  Finally, the elusive connection was made, the dots joined up and my chart began to trace a steady ascent towards wellness.

Most of my journey back from the brink was spent prostrate, attached to various, constantly beeping monitors. It exhausted me to make sounds.  I had speech, at very low volume, almost inaudible.  Attention was gained via a sensor fixed to my finger tip.  Responses varied.  Some staff were better than others.  I felt a level of dependence I had never before known.  And then acceptance came.

The monitors were gradually withdrawn.  I adopted a more upright position in bed from which I was able to slide into an armchair.  An exercise regime was begun giving back purpose to idle, wasted limbs.  By increments strength and stamina found their way back into my body.  Finally I was discharged.

My home felt cold and alien.  Given support, I began to slowly re-enter life on the outside.  I began to socialise.  Today, I had arranged a meeting here, by the steps of the Town Hall.  I was early, the day bright with a gentle breeze.  I glanced down at my watch as the overhead clock began to chime.

I saw you first, a brightness in your step, a quick scan of the people and then recognition.  

'Hello darling!'  A firm hug and a kiss. 'God you look well!'